Discubrir: To Discover

Notice:

Hello to all who have at one point read my blog and have been disappointed seeing as I have not published in a VERY long time. I apologize. It is harder than you would think carving out time to explain to everyone the incredibly unique life that happens here at El Rancho. 

Question:

Lately I have been doing a lot of personal reflection and thinking. Recently we went on a retreat where reflecting was a central theme which started me doing some serious "self-discovery" or perhaps better said "personal examination." I discovered an interesting question: 'why am I so happy here.' It's a great question, and I am very grateful that I can ask it. Yet, it is still interesting to me because I am so frustrated at various times for days or even weeks at a time... (and I am talking about frustration like I have never felt before)... how is it that I am almost entirely certain I have never been happy? 

Answers:

I reduced my answer to this question in 3 answers. 

1. I am always learning. Teaching classes completely in my second language, learning about culture, how to navigate a city like Tegucigalpa, how to overcome numerous obstacles, reading all the time, and new skills like making excellent flower tortillas by hand (easier than you think). 
2. I have meaningful relationships. Relationships that nurture and challenge me (not necessarily the same person). Relationships with the kids (that have to be won on a day to day, week to week, and month to month basis. Relationships that I thought might not work.... but do, somehow. 
3. Meaningful work. Even on the toughest days, even when I am sure that I am the most useless human being on the planet because I will never see the results of what I do, even when I doubt what I do will make any difference to these kids..... somewhere deep, (DEEP) down, I have to know that what I am doing is meaningful, if I didn't I wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't be this happy. 

Idea:

This experience has led to realize, to discover, to believe a truth about myself and my future. I can forge my own destiny. I can be whatever I want to be. As frustrated as I am here, I am still happy; in the future, if my life does not have this balance, I will know one of these three answers is missing... which means something will have to change. I can only hope if a day ever comes where I am in a situation like that, I will have the courage to make a change. 

Irse: To leave

Less my title be quickly misinterpreted, this was not about MY leaving, but rather, the young men I used to work with. As you can read below in the graduation blog, once graduated the older students go into the city for practicums or internships. These were many of the boys I used to work with. The few that remained moved consolidated with another hogar (home) meaning that for the latter part of November through January I would need a new place to concentrate my energy. Rest assured, one was found.

When the older boys left, I was moved down to work with the youngest age-group, in Casa Suyapa with boys from about 4 - 9 years old. Casa Suyapa is the only hogar where the boys and girls are mixed, on one side of the house are the 7 toddlers and all the girls, on the other side, all of the boys (who are not toddlers). The boy side is the side I work on, although there is plenty of time to interact with the girls as well.

As you can imagine working with the smaller children is quite a change from working with the older ones. However, I must say I feel quite blessed and in my element working with the younger age group. Though they tax my energy in MANY ways, they also give me a large amount of energy.

I can hardly look at the photos of them without smiling or laughing or both. We were able to spend Christmas together (more on that later) and have had some incredible fun already.

Overall Casa Suyapa is one of the strictest places on the Ranch, however, with about 50 kids under 10 living there, sometimes you have to be strict. Though I love the children dearly, they do press my buttons and require disciplining (hmm, real parenting anybody?)

Short Stories: 

On any given day during my hours with the children I can be found chasing them around, picking them up, playing cars, marbles, or soccer, pretending that I am going to cook them in the kitchen, or dancing with them. Here are a list of their favorite phrases/games we play:

Douglas......

Chineame - pick me up

Comame- eat me, aka, the game where I chase the around and pretend to eat them

Atrapame- chase me and trap me

Bailemos- lets dance

Duermame- put me to sleep

Canta- sing

Da me vuelta - spin me around

Llevame a tutu - give me a piggy back ride (or ride on my shoulders) 

At night I get to rock the kids to bed and sing them songs. It is a great reminder to me that no matter how crazy all these kids get during the day that when push comes to shove they all just want a little love and someone to hold them as the fall asleep... even the 9 year olds. 

Here are a few more pictures of my little darlings! 

Cumplirse 15: To Turn 15

Here is another article I wrote for the NPH website:

The Sweet 15

The setting is a crisp November afternoon in the roaming mountains outside of Tegucigalpa, the date November 16th. As the afternoon sun filters lazily through the clusters of pine, Rancho Santa Fe is abuzz with the hum of children flitting to and fro eagerly chattering about the only thing any reasonable child around the age of 15 can think of, the magical Quinceañera. Once a year here at Rancho Sante Fe, NPH Honduras, we celebrate any and all children who have turned or will turn 15 during the year. The Quinceañera is a quintessential part of Latin American culture and the culture here on the Ranch. Once a year we pull out all the stops to celebrate the wonderful transition as our children begin to grow into their young adult hood. Once a year life comes to a halt and our worries are whisked away in a flurry of music, laughter, good food, and excellent company.

Proud padrinos and madrinas stood alongside fine dressed quinceañeros in their handmade yellow shirts, black pants and shoes, all eyes turned and eagerly awaiting the arrival of the elegent young woman who had spent all day preparing for their special night. Having taken less time to ready themselves the quinceañeros were lined up and ready to process into the Church when the young women arrived. Easily spotted in their elegant, hand made, bright green gowns, the wide smiled, carefully prepared, giddy quinceañeras finally made their appearance and lined up to go into the Church. Quinceañeros alongside padrinos and madrinas glided into the church beginning the moment they had all been waiting for.

Following a highly ceremonious mass with a special blessing for the quinceañeros, padrinos, madrinas, and cumpleañeros were loaded onto a bus to be carried down to the school where an especially elegant dinner awaited them. Feasting on salad, specially prepared rice, tortillas, and the rare delicacy of meat, saw a gaggle of finely dressed teenagers and visitors happily sharing in the joy of this special evening. As the night wore on, the special cumpleañeros were toasted, cheered, congratulated, and processed for their official pictured, all finally completed by the traditional grand waltz. Nervous quinceañeros, alongside their even more nervous madrinos and padrinos, danced their unrehearsed grand waltz to the great pleasure of the rest of the ranch family whom had arrived to watch the beginning of what would be the rest of the evening’s agenda, dancing.

Until about midnight, the order of the evening was overall revelry and unhindered frivolity. As young and old danced alike, we concluded the special celebration of our dear, cherished cumpleañeros. It was a night made magnificent by hundreds of hands, from the ones that stitched the dresses and flower embroidered gloves, to the hands that meticulously crafted the shoes, hands that set the decadent hair styles, the hands that artfully decorated the hall, cooked the food, and certainly not least, the nervous, clasped hands of our lovely quinceañeros as they danced their birthday waltz on what we can only hope was one of their most memorable, magical childhood evenings.

 

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