Darse cuenta: To realize

Disclaimer: The following post is a personal piece. It is not an attempt to preach or persuade, it is an honest attempt for me to process my own thoughts and discover possibilities about my own future. I do find it worth sharing however and I hope it will help articulate part of the way I have grown and changed since coming to NPH.

To say I have learned a lot here would be such a huge understatement. It is completely impossible to do a thing like NPH and leave without being changed. One of the things I can’t help but notice is how difficult it is to be passive when poverty becomes personal. Hearing the word poverty often brings many images to mind. Right now poverty might call to mind images of the Philippines after the awful storm that has ravaged the country. Poverty might call to mind various scenes of “third-world cities” with half-built cement houses, brown rivers and massive slums. However, how often does the word poverty call to mind a face, name and story; how often does it call to mind a person.

I know personally, it will be impossible for me to return to my former life where poverty was a word used in classroom discussions about low-income schools or the decline of rural America or some distant country in Africa. I write none of this to preach or to condemn. I write because I can’t not speak about something that I see constantly. I can no longer cease to think about the implications my year here is going to have for the rest of my life.

Now, when I can’t think about poverty without thinking of the children I work with here at NPH. Before anyone gets upset, I don’t mean that I see the children in their poverty. The opposite in fact is true. Here at NPH our children have a dignified life with so much more than just the necessities, they have not simply clothes, food, education and health care. They have birthday parties, weekly mass, they have the opportunity of higher education, they have hope that the future will bring them more than there past. So what I mean when I say that I can’t think about poverty without thinking of these kids is that the word poverty is a word that now describes the conditions that drove a desperate woman to abandon her child in circumstances so horrific I don’t feel comfortable sharing them here on the internet. The word poverty is a reason for the work NPH must do everyday. The word poverty describes the enemy we are trying to fight. The cycle we are trying to break.

When poverty becomes personal, when it ceases to be something hidden away from us and when we wake up and stare it down in the face everyday the only option is to act. I believe people are fundamentally wonderful, brilliant beings. When people can see what the word poverty means, when they know the person behind the story they want to help. The want to help because somewhere deep down, we all know that as people we are connected to each other, bound by something greater than race, religion or country of birth. We want to help because it is our duty as human beings to reach out to each other and heal the wounds of our neighbor, because despite the illusion of independence we all know that one day we will need somebody. No one is immune from pain and suffering. Not one.

As I force myself to think about the reality of my return to the U.S. I find myself afraid. I am nervous because here I have something to fight against. The work I do makes me angry, frustrated and sad. The work I do brings me joy and peace. Coming home means a new search. It means listening to my heart and finding my vocation. It means uncertainty; it means challenges, over connectedness and possibility. Coming home isn’t the right thing to do and it isn’t the wrong thing to do. Coming home is what I am going to do and somehow I have to believe that God will guide me to my next step. I have to have hope that my “lifesong” will sing of his love for all people and for his mercy. I hope that because my hands, eyes, ears, mouth and feet are his to use that I will not let him down.

P.S. Don’t miss the new video below!

Sanar: To heal

Below is a short video featuring Fr. Rick a priest who works with NPH in Haiti as well as on numerous other projects. He is an inspirational man who will stop at nothing to help people in need. Please take the time to watch him speak about his projects in Haiti.

If the video doesn't work try: This Link

Ver: to watch

Hello friends and family. I have a few new goodies for you on the sidebars (to the right). I am going to put them here on the post as well (to make things easy for now).


New Link:

Hunter Johnson, previous communications officer, current NPH videographer and super close friend of mine, is an excellent photographer and video maker. He was featured on CNN a while back with some photos and a story about our Honduran Independence Day (September 15th)

here is the link: Read Me!

Also here is a preview of his one of his most recent videos on success at NPH. The video here is kind of small, if you would like to see it fullscreen visit this link.

Pasar tiempo: to pass time (hang out)

So what is a typical work weekend like? Well, here is a little idea of a regular Ranch Saturday.

My start time:

First up breakfast... milk, bannana, sweet bread

Then comes chores...

Sweeping

Picking up poop

 

After work comes play time...

 

Lunch Time

Rice and chicken (an unusually hearty meal)

 

After lunch it's time to get ready for church!

 

How beautiful. (All outfits are handmade)

Dinner time:

 

What came? Beans, fried egg, tortilla. Activity at Buen Pastor!

Bed time:

 

And that's a typical Saturday. Food, "futbol" and friends :)

...plus the whole work thing :)

 

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Dedicarse: to dedicate one's self

John 15.12 "This is my commandment, love one another as I have loved you."

Let me first begin by saying, a year ago I wouldn't have thought I would be the type of person to start a blog post with a Bible verse. Then again, a year ago I wouldn't have thought a lot of things.

So what sits before us is one sentence; one sentence in a book filled with hundreds or perhaps thousands of usually very thin pages. Yet here, in one sentence, we get a great gist of Christianity. Easy enough to say Jesus. But.

If we are to take God at his word here (a dangerous idea), by these words alone I am sure as heck not very high up on the list of outstanding Christians. Most people I don't even love as much as myself, let alone my family, let alone the way God incarnate, unconditional lover and savior of humanity, loved when he walked upon this earth.

This is the challenge that has been placed before me, in various disguises, over the last few months. Whether in the words of Christian author Shane Claiborne, Blessed Mother Teresa, or Christ himself, I have been feeling the challenge to reach a new plane of love. Treating the people who I have contact with as if they were my family, (or scarier still) as if they were Jesus himself. Although some might say this is a 'cliche' or 'childish' view, what other conclusion can be drawn from "...love one another as I have loved you."

Shane Claiborne, is his book, The Irresistible Revolution, mentions a tiredness of a Christianity locked inside of the Church on Sundays. Where is the Christianity of the street? The Christianity of Jesus, the homeless wanderer who used to hang out with prostitutes and other social outcasts. By all means, I am not even remotely saying that Church on Sunday isn't worth going to. The opposite in fact, going to Church is how we can learn about our beautiful Lord, we can hear each other's stories and inspire each other during those "doldrums" of faith. However, it isn't too hard to see why Christianity is becoming increasingly unpopular if all people see is a bunch of folks going to Church and (dare I say it) not really putting a whole lot of daily walk behind that Sunday talk.

Moving to the more extreme side of things we have our Blessed Mother Teresa. I have been going about my daily comings and goings I have been thinking a lot about this modern day 'saint' Mother Teresa. She said that every time she touched a leper that she would not have been able to do it without the knowledge that she was touching the body of Christ himself. Mother Teresa really, truly believed that Christ was present in the people she served. I ask myself what my classes would be like if I imagined that little kid drawing on the desk were Jesus. I wonder what would be different if every time I saw the gentleman who sits and begs in the center of Tegucigalpa as Christ himself, legless and hungry.

If anyone reading this doesn't like tough issues without answers, sorry. Is there really an answer for the systemic poverty that plagues every country on this planet (albeit some more than others). If there is, I surely don't have it. All I know is I am a (pardon) hell of a long way away from "...that which you do for the least of my brothers, you do unto me." (paraphrased, but you get the idea).

God isn't asking us to move mountains (though supposedly we can). I think there is another great quote that is tossed aside to easily as a cliche, "It's not about doing big things, its about doing little things with big love."

I doubt that is exactly how it goes, but you get the idea. Thank you to everyone who is loving, praying, and supporting me from afar. You are in my prayers of thanksgiving.

If your interest has been sparked, I highly recommend the following books (but be careful, you might experience growth and change in the process):

Tattoos on the Heart, by: Gregory Boyle

The Irresistible Revolution, by: Shane Claiborne

The Bible, by: GOD (okay this one is kind of a joke)....

...or is it?

 

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Componer: to compose

Hello folks on the home front: the following is a link to the NPH website to read an article about a creative writing competition that I hosted in the school. The writing the kids did is pretty neat, check it out!

http://www.nph-honduras.org/ws/page.php?path=news/archive/2013/honduras/CreativeWriting.php&lang=en

Querer: to love

From 36,000 Feet:

 

i can't carry what you

carry. but i can see

the music in your smile.

 

 

It's not fair that I have to tell you everything you mean to me in my second language. It's not fair that even though I rock you to sleep and whipser in your ear, mi amor, mijo, te quiero, but I will never see the man you become. It is not fair that the childhood you have been denied is a possesion I can never give up, so as to say to you, sé lo que sientes. It is not fair that you have been robbed, through no fault of you own, of the people who could heal you, of the two people who bring me more joy than I could ever describe. I will never be able to arrive to that missing piece of your heart, no words I say will ever be from the lips you long to kiss your forehead. I never asked for it to be like this.

All I am is a vessel, I can do no more than give you over my hands and my heart, hoping that through them you feel God's spirit pulsing through you. And when I retire my body from the daily rhythm of your wakings and sleepings, your hush, your laughter, your anger and your joys, I will be the one forever changed. I will be the one unable to see with the same eyes or sing with the same voice.

I will never change that we walk different caminos. So to you I promise: when I am with you I will be. Toma mi mano y sepa que te quiero como si fuera mío.

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Simplificar: To Simplify

Minimalism:

Here is an idea that has been floating around in my head for the last few months. Minimalism. The idea of, essentially, less. Less of everything that weighs you down, with the hoped-for end of leaving you with more of the things you love. Essentially, less of everything consumerism says you should want in exchange for more of the pleasures you cannot buy.

Less:
Clothes
Commitments
Paper
Junk
Clutter
Stuff
Useless items
Furniture
Decorations
Luxuries

...while some of these may be difficult to give up, the idea is that you gain...

More:

Peace of mind

Space in your home/room

Intentionality about your life and your things

Ownership of what is left (versus your stuff owning you)

Natural beauty, opportunities to enjoy it

                                        ...and most of all...

TIME! (for things like)

Being with your kids

Chasing your personal passions

Reading a good book

Being with your spouse

Prayer

Exercise

Cooking wholesome meals

Personal development and learning

Reflection

Building lasting relationships

Things with MEANING (aka not watching TV) 

...essentially everything you have always wanted time to do but never have managed to find room for....

This is a totally new idea to me (and in confession only slightly because of our house decree to "live simply"). If I had to guess, I'd wager this curiosity comes from a dissatisfaction with the material world and the realization that things don't make you happy. Meaningful work, important relationships, and learning make me happy. People can adapt to living with a lot less that I have had most of my life. I am in no way ungrateful for what I have been given and I am not saying everyone should do this. I have just found a personal road to Christ's calling to us to leave behind our material items (or at least some of them) and find a search for meaning outside of what consumerism and advertising dictates is "happiness."

Enseñar: to teach

teaching, a wildly vivacious verb

to form

to mold

to discipline

to respect

to attempt

to fail

to reflect

to change

to discern

to learn

to grow

to prune

to nurture

to provoke

to correct

to mentor

to guide

to accompany

to love

to teach

to be

I am these verbs, I am a teacher. It is not my job, my vocation, or my passion.

It is my entire being. It is my identity. It is my soul.

 

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Luchar: to struggle

What better word for this half year of teaching that I have made it through so far. Struggle. There have been excellent moments, and there have been some I'd rather not repeat. Being a first year teaching is very difficult, especially in my second language. There are time when I know I could do a better job if I were teaching in English and not being at my best is frustrating; however, the challenge of it all is so much more beneficial to me (even if I admit it through gritted teeth). Unfortunately, being a first year teacher is just part of the deal, you have to start somewhere. As ALL professional teachers can tell you, it is tough, but if I just keeping preparing myself mentally I usually can accept the fact I am not as good now as I will be in 10 years and can move on.

 

Below I would like to take you through a picture journey of our year so far... here we go.

 

Begginings:

Donations:

 

Learning:

(I love this learning wall, it is such a visual way to see what we have covered so far this year!)




Vocabulary and Concepts:

The Chittlins/Chiquitos/Rugrats:

(ven diagram the first graders did of instruments that make high/low sounds... or both)

 

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Nadar: To Swim

March 2013

A smidgen of our annual beach trip with all of the babies, toddlers, and children from Casa Suyapa

• Teaching kids how to swim
• Flying kites
• Untangling kites
• Making sandcastles
• Watching them get destroyed
• Unbelievable humidity
• Mid day naps in the sand
• Floaties 
• Fried fish!
• Long days
• Hot nights
• Some of my best memories